It has been a While - Trying to Get Back

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It has been a while since I have posted anything on my blog.  Ironically my blog is titled runin' my life, but my life has been running me.  At least for the last few months.  I chose to pull back while I tried to recenter myself.

This has been a really tough year.  Turns out to be not at all what I planned at the beginning of the year, as we now close in on the end of the year.  I am excited to put it behind me and also weirdly grateful for the challenges and chaos it brought.  That is why I love this song.  I feel like women sometimes spend so much time trying to make sure everyone else is happy, making sure everyone likes us...we rarely ask do I like me?

After this year of tough runs and bad races, missed goals, lost family members, illness, and new responsibilities I think I realized somewhere in there I have to like me.  Even though I have not been blogging I have been running and I have been doing my strength training.  For a while I wasn't doing it with a happy heart, more like checking a box.  I guess that is where I am grateful that running and fitness became a habit, so I could at least get it done, because that is what I do; until I could do it because I wanted to do it.

Knock on wood I think that is where I am finally.  I have been enjoying my exercise lately.  Wanting to do it, getting up happily instead of begrudgingly.  I have made some decisions about next year.  No big distance races.  I am going to focus on 5Ks and 10Ks with my husband,  I enjoy some distance running but I will do that on my own, for myself when I feel like it, not because a race plan is breathing down my neck.  For me it is time to get back to the basics of fun running.

I also hope to get back to blogging about the crazy things a peri-menopausal, way less than perfect, 45 year old nonathletic geek, runs into on an imperfect journey to stay healthy despite a genetic minefield!  Here is hoping your journey has been smoother than mine and to finding the fun and the humor is liking ourselves.

I am still grateful for many things, not the least of which is waking up everyday a little worse for the wear and wiser!

Taking a Break and Rediscovering Running

I have been MIA with my blog for a couple of weeks.  I have been trying to let go of structure related to my running.  Lately I have been feeling a little off with my running.  Since I started running I have always found it, with the exception of the occasional bad run, to be very centering and something I looked forward to everyday.  This summer the weather was just brutal and I had a recurring injury with my arm.  I have been dealing with other fun "woman in my forties" issues and running was starting to feel like a job, a frustrating one too, because I wasn't meeting my goals.

So what is a girl to do?  I don't know what all girls do, but this girl decided to first cut some things out.  One was the blog.  I like to use my blog to be upbeat, inspire other non-athletic geeky girls to give running a shot, and occasionally be a little funny!  I wasn't in a place to do any of that.  What I did not want this blog to be is a whine fest!  Wine Fest would be fine, especially a nice Merlot, but constant "why can't I find my groove" is just not my style.  The other thing I did was let go of goals.  I had a miserable half in September and Silver Comet at the end of October, and a sub-2 goal, was weighing me down like running underwater.  So I just decided to let the goals go.  I originally started running for fun and fitness; guess what, I can do that if I never run a half in less than 2 hours.  I heard Ghandi never ran a half in less than two hours and he seemed to accomplish quite a lot.  To be fair, I eat a lot more than Ghandi, so I do need to run.

I also decided my long runs would be what felt good.  I already ran 13 miles last month.  I am pretty sure I can do it again on a trail I run every week.  I incorporated more runs without music.  Just put on my shoes, and clothes of course, or I would be typing this from jail.  By the way I am not typing this from jail!  I also was on a long run last week and met a new running friend.  She is also training for a half.  We run a similar pace and we are going to try and meet up again to do a long run together.  Since hubby caps at 6 miles this was great.  She really helped me power through the end of my nine miler last week.

Operation just relax and remember this is fun culminated in a beautiful Cartersville 10K with my favorite running partner today.  It was 50 degrees, windy and absolutely beautiful.  We laughed and talked our way to 56 minute finish.  Not my fastest, but definitely one of the most satisfying races.  I am back on the track of loving running.  I have kept up my strength training and now instead of forcing myself out the door and to the gym I am again happily enjoying that time.

I am trying to catch up on your blogs too.  I kind of just cut all of it off for a little bit.  I will be busy at a conference next week, but hope to get back to blogging regularly when I return!  I am grateful today for a beautiful run!  Hope you are enjoying everything you are training for, otherwise what's the point.