The Year in Stupid

So it is the end of the year time for stockings, egg nog, enough wine to dull the sound of annoying family members, and another favored tradition a chance to enumerate so many things in those end of year countdowns.  There is no shortage of topics: best dressed, worst hair, celebrities lost, best song, top movies, most unforgettable wardrobe malfunction.  For me the end of the year is a time to remember the stupidity that marked it so we can try desperately to learn from this.

So here we go: 

1) Climate Change, Shlimate change.  What happened to teaching science?  How can anyone who has lived witnessing the last several years of ever increasing storm severity and widespread drought still believe this is the Earth cycling through these events, and everything will once again right itself?  So said the T-Rex, just ask him.  Oh yeah...he's extinct.  This is the epitome of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.  Super Storm Sandy is the proverbial "hawk in the coal mine" (because the canary died during Australia's 15 year drought).  This year 68% of the US was plunged into drought.  That is probably not climate change.  More than likely it is God getting back at us for removing prayer from school, or supporting gay marriage, or that blasphemous first step down the slippery slope of societal decay: letting women wear pants.  That is probably where it all went wrong, not an anthropogenic reaction to the increasing cost of life on a small planet with 6.5 billion people that pumps out Carbon like McDonald's make hamburgers.

 2) Let's Just call them the Less than Fabulous Rape Brothers.  Richard Mourdock and Todd Akin.  You want real entertainment in reality TV, put these two in a Science Bowl.  First of all Mourdock can't support abortion in cases of rape because that is what God intended.  Who is this guy's God and I hope I haven't pissed him off?  I guess the belief that a guy in the sky made that decision is perhaps more fact based than Todd Akin who somehow believes that a woman's body recognizes legitimate rape and won't allow implantation of a fetus.  Let's not even discuss "legitimate rape."  Did this guy take biology at that weird creationist amusement park?  Instead of donation letters, his Alma Mater sends him cease and desist notices to stop telling people he attended their school. 

Then we have this clown, Wayne LaPierre, vice president of the National Rifle Association who 90 minutes after the national moment of silence for the 26 Sandy Hook victims, 20 of them first graders and 6, dedicated educators who only wanted to protect their students, goes on National TV to say the solution to gun violence is more guns.  Not only is this his position he has to put it in the most terrifying context of "the next Adam Lanza is already planning his next attack."  Way to calm fearful kids and a terrified Nation WAYNE.  And by the way guess who is arming these freaks?  He had the audacity to call government officials jackbooted thugs for trying to pass gun control.  Well all I can say is as the Vice President of  Jackbooted Thugs, Wayne should know one when he sees one. 

I don't want it to appear that I don't appreciate stupidity.  What would this year be like if I could not both thank and apologize to Mitt Romney.  First thanks for the memories.  I don't know when I have laughed more than the Republican Convention watching Clint Eastwood yell at a chair that he thought was the President.  I hope all those guns he uses in the movies have blanks, because he is clearly one of those mental health cases that are slipping through the cracks.  Also who can forget the 47% of the US citizens who are only victims with their hands out.  Really, you laugh, but do you have binders full of women.  I mean I am a woman and I don't even have that.  As for the apology.  I underestimated Willard.  I thought he was the most boring man on earth, but I was wrong.  He is unintentionally hilarious!  He also apparently never wanted to be president.  Weird huh?  Seems like a long, painful, and expensive way to visit Iowa and North Dakota. 

Just when we thought all this nonsense would be over: we survive the Mayan Apocalypse.  Now what about all those who were convinced the world would end? Crawl out of the bunker, donate the canned goods to the food pantry, pay your Visa bill, call your boss and apologize.  A whole new stupid year starts in a little over a week!