So sorry I haven't written in a couple of days. It has been an unbelievably busy week and I have used all my spare mental and physical energy to remind myself that I will not regret getting up to run even when everything in my body says stay in bed. None the less, I am mostly winning that battle this week. Tuesday I had to take a rest day. I just wasn't feeling it. We all have days like that. I try not to have too many and then I try to forgive myself when I do. I think that second part is particularly challenging for women. Maybe it is just me but men seem a lot more accepting of their limitations and women seem to see it more as a personal failing.
I would like to be more like a guy that way. You know they take it in stride look at it like "hey things just did not come together today. Give it a shot tomorrow. Do you want a beer?" Me, I will analyze and think if I didn't exercise today and yesterday was hubby's birthday and we ate out and I had some fries I probably need to run at least 25 miles this week to burn that off and stay where I am. Or I just short hand it and end up with some generic flailing, "you have no focus. You are so lazy." It may not be very specific, but it assuages that need I have to recognize my shortcomings, while still being a time saver and bonus: math free.
I think for the most part we are probably too hard on ourselves, but what always lingers in the back of my mind is something my Dad told me when I was a younger. "If you don't admit your mistakes and evaluate them, won't you just repeat them?" Now I realize my father has been gone for nine years in May and I am well in my 40's but certain lessons just stick with you.
Maybe just because you remember them though doesn't mean you should be doomed to live them out. I guess sometimes we need to let go of things that may no longer serve us. There was definitely a time in my life when I needed to pay strict attention and do penance for mistakes, that time was probably chronologically closer to when my Dad actually told me that. He probably never thought I would embrace it as a way of life. I mean I did not embrace everything he said. I certainly still stand in front of the TV from time to time even though he always said "Move. You make a better door than you do a window even though you are a pane."
Yeah it is probably time to go a little easier on myself. I have done pretty well this week and I plan to get out everyday for the rest of it. I even have a women's only 5K on Saturday. That should be fun. What do you hold onto that you should probably let go?
OMG. SOO me. I would probably say I hold on to replaying in my head the things I said to someone out of frustration or anger- and I beat myself up over it. I don't do it often, but maybe that's why when it happens I'm so hating on myself. It's just not part of my character.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post!
-Celia