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Monday, June 2, 2014

Feeling Like Me Again

It has been slow going but I think I am finally getting back to myself.  This has been a really rough couple of months.  First we had the first robbery, then the second robbery, the move (see event one and two), pneumonia, then my brother's terminal illness and death.  Through it all, not the pneumonia, but the rest I had running.  I kept running even though a part of me was like "I think you could say it is all too much and stop."  Still I kept running.  I am grateful.  When things were tough there was always that 30-90 minutes of running, just me and my thoughts, even when the thought was don't think. 

Even though I ran, I felt like other things kept slipping through the cracks.  I felt behind at work, like my mind was not really there.  I felt like that hamster in the wheel running and running and getting nowhere.  I could not find the time to strength train and nagging things that I usually take care felt like they were piling up in the chaos of my life.  Recently, as things have finally settled down, I feel like myself.  Regaining more of my life.  Last week I felt like I caught up on old work projects and finally actually felt fully engaged.  Amazing what you can accomplish  when you are really paying attention!  I am not a person who gets overwhelmed by to do lists or obligations but lately everything seemed like one thing too many. These will seem small and insignificant but this weekend I knocked some thingsthat had been hanging around off my mental to do list. 

I got my hair cut and dyed (yes that is a necessity just ask my husband).  I got the car into the shop.  Good thing the main cylinder that powers most of the car was wearing out and the belt was stretched out.  The car runs like new and the fixed they oil leak that mocked me everyday.  It is amazing how good you feel when your car is taken care of and running great.  I think it has to do with the freedom that symbolizes.  If I needed to take off at the last minute I could. Don't ask!  That need arises out of a past it would take20 therapists to unravel.  Suffice to say I am girl who values her independence and freedom.  I also got my cats' health check ups scheduled.  They have been on the back burner as we dealt with ever bigger and more devastating issues. 

I rejoined the world of gym goers to beef up my strength training.  I know this will make me feel stronger and make a better runner.  Plus I have really enjoyed being back at the gym.  I have gotten time to get back to reading and I finished 4 books last month.  I also have gotten back to blogging, something I enjoy doing. I also am now able to get back to follow you all on your journeys on your blogs.  Lastly, today I did something that I have been talking about for months.  I started back at the chiropractor.  I have always valued chiropractic as a way to stay healthy and improve my running.  I stopped going almost  year ago and I have really missed it. My new Chiropractor is a runner and personal trainer so he totally gets runners.  He got all excited when he realized I was coming in because I believe in chiropractic as a preventive health method.

After months of feeling like I was just keeping ahead of the boulder rolling towards me, I now recognize myself again and feel like I am back on a good path.  Just a reminder that all things pass good or bad.  Just hang in there and keep a positive attitude.  I hope things are going well for you and if not I understand and you are in my thoughts. Like running, it is one foot in front of the other until it feels effortless again.

Today I am grateful for the many things I have in my life. 


  1. This is wonderful and I'm glad you're able to get to some of those things you had to let go. I've never been to a chiropractor or know much about it. I'd love to hear what benefits it has. Maybe an idea for a future blog post :)

    1. Thanks. That is a good idea for a blog. I find it really helps my overall fitness and health. I know it really helped m running by making sure I am in balance and not favoring one side.

  2. So glad to hear you're in a good space, Kathy! I know the my-car-is-working-just-fine feeling very well and you're right about the sense of freedom you get from that. I also see a chiropractor on a somewhat irregular basis. I seem to have this sense of when things are "out of whack" and she generally gets me back on track. It's all about balance and alignment, both of which are important to general health and especially important for runners! Cheers and hoping life continues on in such a good way for you!

    1. Thanks, Brian. It has been a long couple of months but the light at the end of the tunnel. I love chiropractic. It has made a big difference in my overall health.