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Friday, December 14, 2012

Saddest Day

Today everyone in this country feels like a part of Sandy Hook Elementary School.  For me, I see my husband and his colleagues and those little students he talks about every night, only today I see them cowering in a corner and begging for their not yet lived lives to be spared. 

A friend of mine posted on Facebook "Today I have no Words."  I thought that was profound but then I thought I have three "Gun control now."

I am not a religious person I think of myself as more spiritual.  I do believe in the spirit and I believe in some hereafter though not sure what form it takes. A friend sent this poem.  I leave it here for any who read this.  I don't know what lies beyond here but I hope the Peace described here is what greeted those  teachers and students today. I hope that the family left behind is successful in finding comfort in whatever they believe and the compassion of a heartbroken nation.

This morning I woke up,
looked at the Connecticut sky.
I had a good feeling
I can't tell you why.

I kissed Mommy goodbye,
and told Daddy I love you.
And before we separated at the sign,
I told sister see you soon.

The bell rung,
we all rushed inside.
It was warm and loving
like a campfire light.

The teacher smiled,
my friends waved hello.
We started class,
but before you know..

The door busted open,
a man with a gun.
I was scared and broken
I looked at the sun.

The same sun I saw
with so much love.
Now brought me worry
but I'd stay tough.

I felt a pain
go through my whole body.
I saw a light
and an awful goodbye.

I saw Mommy's face,
her beautiful, soft lips.
I kissed her this morning,
she was something I'd miss.

I smelled Daddy's cologne,
when he hugged me today.
He left for work,
not knowing what life would take.

Sister was only a few blocks away,
in a classroom, I could see
I'll never get to say
how much she means to me.

My 6th birthday was coming soon,
I was dreaming of ponies
and shoes.

Then I felt a hand
touch my face.
I was overwhelmed
in an amazing grace.

God said to me,
"don't be worry, child.
you've been here before.
it's just been a while."

I looked on my back,
where I found wings.
I felt a halo
and clouds under my feet.

With me, when I looked,
were my friends by my side.
That man sent us here,
but I"m alright.

Maybe he was sick,
maybe he was crazy.
Maybe he hurt us
because he was hurting, maybe?

I watch the tears
all over the country.
Over the few years
their pain because of me.

I watched my family
break apart.
but they knew
I was in their hearts.

I don't know much,
but I know this;
my mommy should've never
had to bury her own kid.

Although it's tough,
although it's hard
I think God would want us to forgive
the killer in our hearts.

What you don't know,
but what I'll tell you,
is I'm just fine.
in this heaven of mine.

Maybe this will teach you
to never regret a thing.
Be happy with what God gave you,
because you could've been me.

Now, maybe I was young,
maybe I didn't deserve it.
But maybe I taught a lesson,
now please...learn it.

Love with everything,
always smile a lot.
Remember this lesson,
that I taught.

Wipe the tears,
enjoy the years.
Time goes by fast,
you don't know which day is your last.

Pray for my family,
for my friend's family, too.
I'm sure they'll be grateful,
and thankful to you.

I'm an angel,
all brand new.
I came up here
this afternoon.

I would be 6 years old,
but God has a plan.
Remember this feeling of distraught,
remember this lesson that I taught.

Written by J.J. 12/14/12
Edited by S.Z. 12/14/12

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